Everybody who has gone through a divorce knows that it’s a huge stress. The process is often daunting, and it can leave a person completely exhausted. The truth is, many divorced people can’t even imagine finding a new partner. Studies have shown that more than 50% of women are completely uninterested in dating after divorce.
This doesn’t come as a surprise – you have already done the whole thing (dating, proposal, wedding, maybe even kids). No wonder that putting yourself “out there” again makes you anxious. Psychology explains this phenomenon simply – after a divorce, you may have some baggage and unresolved issues. On the other hand, you have more experience than most people, and chances are you will know what to look for in a new partner. Knowing exactly what you need from your next relationship is essential, and you will likely make better choices than you did the first time around.
If you are divorced but ready to dive into the dating world, this is the article for you. Here are some suggestions to keep in mind as you try giving love another shot.
Try Online Dating
Online dating is one of the most popular ways for people to find love again, including recent divorcees. Around 30% of adults in the U.S. are using various dating websites and apps and their overall experience has been positive. Still, many adult dating sites have received some negative comments due to cases of scams and fake profiles. Dating gurus at Shagrr.com claim that your personal data security must be a priority. Make sure you choose high-quality sites with zero tolerance for scammers and misleading profiles. Whether you want to meet someone new, find a partner for casual sex, or start a relationship, feeling safe is vital, and you should be relaxed while exploring the world of online dating.
Finding potential partners online has proven great for shy and introverted people. It’s also amazing if you are very busy or if you haven’t been on a date for quite some time. Clubs and bars are cool places for socializing, but sometimes you just don’t dare to approach someone new. Not to mention that you probably don’t even go to clubs if you are a single parent, working full-time. This is the reason why you should consider dating apps. They will save you time, make a match according to your interests, or you can just swap left to right based on someone’s photo.
If you don’t know where to begin, don’t worry, we have got your back! Here is the list of the most popular dating apps. Whether you are looking for a casual hookup or a new spouse, there is something for everybody.
- Shagrr – The best way to find casual sex partners and explore your deepest fantasies and desires.
- Tinder – This app has the highest number of users, so it’s great if you want to cast a wide net.
- Bumble – An app for ladies, where they can initiate contact and conversation.
- OkCupid – Offers the best in-depth profiles.
- Meet me – For users over the age of 40.
- Grinder – For LGBTQ+ daters.
- Lumen – For dating after 50.
Ask Yourself If You Are Dating Again For The Right Reasons
Divorce is difficult, and it can bring a lot of stress and anxiety into your life. If you want to start dating again to avoid painful feelings of loneliness, talking to someone before you jump back in is a great idea. Feeling hurt and angry is completely normal, but psychologists suggest you take your time to heal.
Once you start feeling that you want to begin dating again, but you don’t need it desperately, you will know it’s the right time. When you are dating someone new, you are experiencing a range of emotions, but also a certain amount of vulnerability. Some people just need more time, especially if their divorce has been traumatic in any way. Make sure you are completely ready to make new, positive connections.
Don’t Sacrifice Who You Are
Dating after a divorce is a huge step outside your comfort zone. However, stay true to who you are. You are an experienced, mature individual who knows what they want. Never define yourself through your next relationship, and make sure you reconnect with yourself from time to time.
You should always date someone who fits into your life. Never change your whole personality just to impress the new partner. When you are well-grounded and centered, a perfect partner will be attracted to your true nature, and you can begin building a trusting, healthy relationship.
Be Honest About Your Past
Being transparent about your past after a divorce is essential, especially if you have kids. Even if you don’t, your ex-partner will probably still remain a part of your life in some way. Many people decide to stay friends or need to communicate for financial issues.
When you find a new partner, don’t hesitate to be honest and open about this topic. You don’t want to tiptoe around it. Feel free to mention your ex. Your new partner should know your backstory and be aware of the current situation. After all, you won’t truly understand each other until you have a few deeper conversations.
Set Reasonable Expectations
Many people get very excited when they start dating after a divorce. Well, maybe a bit too excited. They build all those crazy fantasies around their potential partner and have enormous expectations from the first date.
The truth is, you should never enter into a date assuming you are “meant for each other” or you will get married in the end. Dating after a divorce is a great chance to learn more about yourself, how you have changed, and how you are moving forward. A potential partner has a secondary role here.
Nobody is saying that it’s impossible to find true love right after separation, but most of those relationships end up being a rebound. That is completely normal, and it shouldn’t worry you at all.
Every new relationship is unique and carries its own challenges with it. Try not to compare your new partner to your ex-spouse in any way. This can be a huge mistake. Understand what part you have played in the ending of your marriage and move on. Giving yourself a chance for new love is the best thing you can do for yourself. Enjoy the experience and let the love win!